Cubert 5 (GP), 2013 – report and results

Report from Hana

Hana, Cubert 5 2013
Hana with security hanky at the ready… (Photo Rob Pope)

This was the second ever race in my running life that I entered some 3 years ago on the suggestion of my good friend Julie. It was also the race which really impressed my “husband who plays golf” because I came home with a race memento of a fold up garden chair, something that has not featured in a goodie bag since. I’m not a great fan of races shorter than 10K, due to the fact that my legs only have one speed, a speed which is better adapted for the longer races. I find with the shorter ones, I get sucked into running faster than my body can really cope with, then I fall to bits half way through the race mentally more than physically.

So last year I decided to not enter the Cubert 5 and hence missed out on a great race memento……The rucksack. Bother! I know this is very sad, but us girls of a certain age, are more concerned with what memento we will come home with, than how fast we could actually run it in.

This year with the new age category of “Old Croc” to consider, I thought I had better have another go at this race distance to see how I would fare against the other “Old Croc’s”. Entry form completed with entry money attached, now there was no turning back. Would the weather behave itself and stay dry? The answer to that question was “yes” and with clear blue skies to bring a smile to the organisers faces.

I finished work at 6pm and had completed a tactical move for a fast get away. First I popped down to the changing room, changed black socks for white ones, returned to my desk. Next free moment I popped back down, put cycle style running shorts under uniform trousers, and returned to my desk. Next it was the running vest under white uniform shirt and trainers instead of black shoes. Bother…..customer walks in and hopefully didn’t spot the pink trainers or blue running vest showing through the shirt.

Time to lock door, spin around a couple times like super woman and suddenly there I am all ready to race in my TRC running kit.  Outside my chariot awaits to take me to the race. Julie and I are having a “Thelma and Louise” moment……soft top down, sun glasses on and we hear a familiar voice wish us well. Cheers Andy G.

We arrive at Cubert with hair slightly windswept, a glow to our cheeks and are directed into a grass field which is the usual parking area for this race. With the weather having been dry for several days, it is bliss to not worry about whether you will be able to get the car out at the end of the day due to mud. A short walk later we are at the race HQ, the village junior school. As we approach, there walking towards us is Izzy, with her three angelic little girls who have all completed the fun run. Each of them have a bright pink shoe bag as their memento, which as a mum I would have found very useful, but when you are under 6yrs old, a medal is all you really want and sadly they didn’t get one. Izzy was going to have to fashion 3 out of a tag attached to the bags when she got home. Hope that went well Izzy? Mind you, I might now have an outlet for any redundant medals that normally go into the bin. Perhaps TRC could lead the way and have a recycling vessel at the club, so none of the young children of TRC members will ever be disappointed ever again.

As Alison is out of action for a while due to leg being in a brace, I have been delegated to collect money from TRC runners who have entered but not paid in advance, and hand out race numbers. Am I capable of being a responsible adult when normally at this point of the day I’m plagued by race nerves? How am I going to review the toilets? What if I give the likes of Gordon my race number by mistake? I think about that for a moment……… could be a way of registering a faster time than the other “Old Croc’s”……ah, but Gordon has already collected his race number, so plot foiled!

Anyway with the help of Julie we hand out the race numbers, collect money and between the two of us locate and use the very dinky ladies loo. This toilet is made for people less than 5’ tall, I’m 5’8” so the door to the cubicle becomes a “Saloon” style door. Crouching to pull down and pull up ones under garments is the order of the day, but otherwise it is clean with toilet roll provided and a minimal queue, unlike the row of Porta Loo’s outside.

It’s time to head for the start line. Outside the BBQ is in full flow as is the Beer, and the temptation to just chill out in the sunshine with a burger and a pint is quite strong, but no we must leave this behind and remember that as this is a 5 mile race, the pain will be short lived, unless I manage to take a wrong turn again as I did at the “Imerys Half” and run further than intended (I’m still simmering re my 14.25 mile half marathon Grrrrrrrrr!)

The start line is in the road in the middle of Cubert, the road that leads down to Holywell bay. As this is the main road through the village, we are encouraged/kettled into a side road for our safety. As there is always a huge entry for this race and all the keen runners want to be at the front of the pack at the start line, managing to get the runners to comply is a nightmare. I manage to stop myself being pushed to the back and as we walk out to the start line, I’m about a third of the way back.

We’ve had a bit of a briefing by a male with a megaphone but all I could hear was “speed bumps”, “two laps” and not a lot else. Suddenly there is a huge bang as if the house to our right has exploded, all the women jump out of their skins and make that involuntary squealing noise. We are off. That was the starting pistol or was it a canon?

The first section is over the speed humps which I managed to cross without any mishaps. In fact I think everyone around me managed to stay upright. There was almost a shoe removal incident to my left, where a female trod on the heel of the runner ahead. A usual hazard when everyone is so tightly bunched but unlike drivers, runners don’t seem to suffer from the affliction of “ROAD RAGE” so the incident passed with a few cordial words exchanged. Perhaps TRC could offer running courses for all those drivers that spend their life shouting verbal obscenities at other road users and need to release their aggression in a controlled environment, because running certainly gets rid of stress……unless you take a wrong turn in a race……sorry I’m still simmering! Might need an anger management course?

My usual style of weaving in and around slower runners is also hampered by the volume of humans in this narrow road and this in turn is also made worse when we reach a bottleneck due to cars wanting to use the same road as us. Imagine being sat inside a small car and have nearly 600 hundred runners hurtling towards you.

This straight flat section lasts for 1 mile before we turn left onto a narrower country lane and the pressure on the legs is removed slightly by a minimal downhill gradient.

I am directly behind a St Austell running club female (initials DG) who has recently moved over onto the dark side….that’s the “Old Croc’s “ age cat. I have only ever beaten her once and she was injured, so I suppose that doesn’t count, but at this moment in time, I’m able to keep in step with her. My lungs aren’t protesting, the legs are coping and I’m feeling relatively OK. If I can keep this going I might be in with a chance of a third place???????

We meander along this lane, the gradient changes to a slight uphill and I can feel my lungs starting to lack air. Then we turn left again and we are alongside the entrance to the school field, the water station and the one and only hill in this race. My mouth is so dry I actually grab a cup of water and swill and spit. Mouth moist once again I struggle up the slope, with DG now pulling ahead…..bother. I’m sweating like a pig, security hanky to the fore. Sun glasses removed, eyes stinging as I try to wipe the sweat from my brow, glasses back on, vision now restored (prescription glasses……blind as a bat without them).

So it’s back out onto the 1 mile straight again. DG is about 20m ahead, I try to work out what to do then realise that to catch her up I will have to push really hard, probably vomit on the finishing line and end up injured. This is an easy to resolve problem, all I need to do is carry on as I am, hope no more “old croc’s” overtake me, and then maybe just maybe I might get a ……..ah I forgot Jayne Angilley has entered as has Revis so this means no hope at all for a top 3 placing and they had bottles of wine as trophies on the table back at the race HQ……..maybe a sprint finish then????

Left turn, slight downhill, undulating lane with slight pull upwards and before I know it I’m back to the entrance to the school field and the finish line. Gordon is telling me I’m in the top 120, could be a placing if I keep running hard. You’re having a laugh Gordon. DG is out of sight so must have crossed the line already. I have no idea who is behind me and have no energy to glance back, so I decide the only option is to try and sprint the last 50m and I cross the line in 38:28, a new PB which is 30 seconds faster than my last PB for this distance…..GO me!. Maybe the Pain au Chocolat I had for breakfast, or was it the chocolate cake I had in the afternoon brought this about? No I don’t think so; DG probably helped by giving me someone to try and chase down and so kept my pace higher than normal. Mind you, I had no “Males in Lycra” moments to distract me today. Thinking of that, these males have been in short supply for some time. I must be taking this running malarkey far too seriously!

Race finished. Wet with sweat not rain. Race memento collected……bum bag,( not had one of those before ) along with a chunky Kit Kat, pack of fruit and oat biscuits, Monster munch, small bag of dental nightmares otherwise known as chewy sweets that pull my gold inlays out if I attempt to eat them, plus a banana and bottle of water. First rate Goodie bag if you ask me. Now it is time for a cuppa and Oooooo scones with jam and cream. I eat three (that is 3 halves not whole scones).

Julie and I leave before the presentations, something we normally don’t do, but it is past 9pm and the results are still not completed. I know I have no chance of a placing and on checking the results the next day neither did DG who came 4th with me being placed 5th. Thank goodness I hadn’t bust a gut to try and overtake her or else I might not be just simmering from “Imerys” I might have actually exploded. Time for counselling I think, have we started that course yet at TRC?

So all in all:

1. Parking. Fantastic. Well marshalled, plentiful and not far from the race HQ.

2. Race HQ. In the school dining room. It was a challenge for me to get my legs under the table as the stools were fixed to the tables and made for dinky people, but it was warm and room enough when the weather is not inclement.

3. Toilets. Dinky. Made for children, not women with long legs. Once you mastered the art of the stooped stance, all was OK and modesty remained intact. I didn’t try the Porta Loo’s so I can’t comment on these.

4. Race marshalling. I think I must have run this race in a trance, because I cannot really remember any. I heard the odd word of encouragement and didn’t get lost, so it must have been OK.

5. Goodie bag……great. As stated, a Bum Bag (Gordon wore his to club night He had a slight problem with the strap loosening, but I think that was operator error) and lots of edible treats.

6. Will I run this race again? Now that is an awkward one to answer. I don’t like 5 mile or under races, it’s fast and furious so maybe I should just do it biannually, but then again I might miss out on a race memento to beat the Garden chair???????


Wendy Chapman took 3rd place for TRC in the female vet 35-39 category – congratulations Wendy! (Photo Rob Pope)



Open Competition


1 0:26:10 BREWER, Tony Mile High Male under 35 05:13.9
2 0:26:18 SMITH, Guy Swansea Male under 35 05:15.5
3 0:26:20 THOMAS, Justin Cornwall AC Male Vet 35-39 05:15.9



1 0:27:46 STEPTO, Emma Cornwall AC Female Vet 40-44 05:33.1
2 0:29:03 HEATHCOTE, Miranda Newquay Road Runners Female Vet 40-44 05:48.5
3 0:30:03 TREGENZA, Heidi Cornwall AC Female under 35 06:00.5


Overall Results

Cubert 5 results – 2013 – xls

TRC Results

593 finishers

Position Time Pace Name Category Position in category 1-3
55 0:30:19 06:03.7 ADIE, Gordon Male Vet 50-54
134 0:33:53 06:46.5 CHAPMAN, Wendy Female Vet 35-39 3
167 0:35:11 07:02.1 SHEFFORD, Andrew Male under 35
180 0:35:44 07:08.6 MCGUIRE, David Male Vet 35-39
211 0:36:40 07:19.8 BRADSHAW, Paul Male Vet 40-44
248 0:37:42 07:32.2 RAMSEY, Chris Male Vet 60-64
267 0:38:28 07:41.4 CLITHEROW, Hana Female Vet 50-54
282 0:39:00 07:47.8 EAGLING, Nigel Male Vet 60-64
296 0:39:40 07:55.8 STEWART, Juliet Female Vet 45-49
375 0:43:02 08:36.2 JOHNS, Julie Female Vet 50-54
454 0:46:09 09:13.6 KEY, Bethany Female under 35
485 0:48:09 09:37.6 DEVEREUX, Jacky Female Vet 55-59
493 0:48:38 09:43.4 GABRIELE, Claire Female Vet 35-39


Don’t forget to look at the TRC Flickr Group for today’s photos 🙂 (If available)